userbar:

i used to think

if only you could put pizza on pizza and believe there was no way it could be done

but now, i have seen the light

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2,650 notes

spongyspice:

we all have a person who’s name we hear and we just

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393,567 notes

lil-jawn:

Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child

(Source: javeliner)

170,874 notes

tumblropenarts:

Artist Name: Logan Law
Tumblr: http://theengima-slc.tumblr.com/

tumblropenarts:

Artist Name: Logan Law

Tumblr: http://theengima-slc.tumblr.com/

163 notes

nayx:

i only type with my dick

33,664 notes

loser-fish:

Today in biology the teacher asked “why do chromosomes have to stick together?” And I whispered “because they’re bromosomes” and the guy next to me just about died laughing

74,561 notes

foxnewsofficial:

there was a lizard in the shower so i said hello to it and the person showering next to me was like “hi??” i wasn’t sure whether to carry on the conversation or be like sorry i was talking to a lizard 

(Source: foxnewsofficial)

346,057 notes

a discussion on sexual orientation

  • me: *explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
  • classmate: wait, what's polyamory?
  • me: well, it's when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
  • professor: *overhears from front of class*
  • professor: that is d i s g u s t i n g
  • me: *defensively* um, actually, no it's--
  • professor: how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • professor: it should be polyerosy

97,145 notes

easterbunnymundlover:

leviisacutelittleshit:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

beggars-opera:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

easy there henry

whos henry what thef uck?

*faint laughter from Britian*

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529,347 notes

ahkep:

actionables:

the past is a strange place

cops on bikes used to transport criminals like this

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this guy worked as an alarm for waking people up

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one wheel motorcycle

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pin-boys who manually lined pins up

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baby cage for families who wanted their kids to get enough sunlight

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zoo-keeper showering a penguin

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But who woke up the guy that woke everyone else up

210,937 notes

dendropsyche:

Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something

177,435 notes

jaclcfrost:

"why are you awake at three in the morning" asks the person who is also awake at three in the morning

534,223 notes