googlevideos:

sex is a lot like a hot bath

once you get your balls in the worst part’s over and you can get your torso and arms and stuff in

i’ve never had sex

(Source: shuckl)

187,956 notes

  • Mom: ' well you need to call them and ask.'
  • Me: I dont think you understand how much i cannot do that.

369,062 notes

babyferaligator:

*steals ur girl* *mom finds out and makes me return her and apologize*

(Source: 420dongsquad)

237,728 notes

apollollo:

send this to your crush

apollollo:

send this to your crush

(Source: dracch)

89,443 notes

cantwaitforpizza:

cantwaitforpizza:

cantwaitforpizza:

the sun has come out

the sun is gay

*white girl voice* why are the hot ones always gay

(Source: tomsigh)

456,425 notes

diddily:

when your mom tells you to do the dishes

image

135,513 notes

thankyouforthedildos:

Jesus isn’t coming back. Not with these gas prices.

429 notes

godotal:

omgbuglen:

How to use sand to freak people out

Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.

godotal:

omgbuglen:

How to use sand to freak people out

Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.

38,418 notes

traynors:

you dont just play the sims. you go on a sims binge for three days straight then put the game down for 5 months

248,610 notes

unsparks:

my pet peeve is when someone ignores you

like if we have a problem then let’s fucking address it

67,645 notes